-Luke 17:1,2
September 15 2008, will always be a memorable day for my family. On that day, my youngest daughter, Lucy, was baptized and my second oldest, Elizabeth, received her First Holy Communion. Days like this are memorable for a number of reasons: The hopes we have for our children, the joy in seeing them received into the Church and progressing in the sacraments, the happiness of having friends to share these events with...I could go on and on. September 15 is memorable for all of those reasons and one other reason that is extremely sad:
We had to travel 3,000 miles to do it.
My children received their first Sacraments at our old parish, Our Lady of the Rosary, in San Diego, because I am persona non grata at my current parish, St. John the Evangelist in Valdosta, Georgia.
Make no mistake, we love our old parish and we love the priests who always treat us with extraordinary warmth. The last Sunday before we moved away from San Diego, my wife cried all through the Mass. After Mass, I asked her why she was crying and she said that she knew what a special parish we had and how much she would miss it as well as the beautiful church. The priest who offered Mass, Fr. Louis Solcia, came to my wife, put his arms around her and said, "I want you to know that, no matter where you are, this will always be your parish." Little did we suspect at the time that we would be forced to impose upon his generosity to get our children baptized. It was a beautiful day, but it took place in San Diego for the wrong reason.
Whenever we go home to San Diego, the first place we go is never our hotel. The first place we go is always Our Lady of the Rosary Church. No explanation needed.
My daughter Lucy was born in November 2007. Each of my girls were baptized within a couple of weeks after their birth. We had to wait 10 months to baptize Lucy.
My daughter Elizabeth was another project altogether. After being shouted at and bullied by a priest here in Valdosta for wandering into his office on the way from the bathroom, she was terrified of men wearing Roman collars. I had to coach her relentlessly about the safety of the confessional and it took a good bit of coaxing and a lot of priestly patience to get her through her first few confessions. I can only pray that the good example of the other priests she has met will eventually obliterate the memory of the humiliation she suffered from a local priest.
The future looks even more complicated as my oldest daughter approaches the age for Confirmation. If my daughter is to be confirmed, she will have to go through a preparation program approved by the diocese. As parents who take their children's Catholic education seriously, we refuse to simply assume that any program is orthodox--we want Confirmation to be meaningful, not the "exit sacrament" that it has become for so many teens--and we insist that we know what will go on with her formation and that we are a part of it. However, my physician wife doesn't always have time to attend to such matters and, again, I am not permitted to set foot on parish grounds, because I'm so "dangerous".
The supreme irony of this is that I am writing this post on Good Shepherd Sunday. I am not permitted to contact my bishop. I am not permitted to contact my pastor. My wife could attempt to contact my pastor again, but she doesn't like being yelled at and hung up on. It would be really nice to even have a shepherd, much more a good one.
I still get nasty posts from a couple of members of St. John's, who never hesitate to tell me to "go back to California" or "you'll never be a member of St. John's" and other such heartwarming sentiments. Yes, they hurt. But at least I have the comforting words of Fr. Solcia to remember: "No matter where you are, this will always be your parish."
Which words would Jesus speak, the former or the latter?
I pray that my children will not grow up hating the Catholic Church. I know a lot of people who have left the Church because they have been hurt by one of its priests or bishops. I refuse to accept any such excuse for myself and I hope that by being faithful to the Church where a few vocal people at one branch office have turned nasty, my children will realize that there is no leaving the One, True Church. Every night we pray for our bishops and priests, including a select few who apparently hate me.
There is someone my children will always remember too. They will remember Bishop Boland, who has the power to permit me back to my parish, yet refuses. I only pray that they can remember him for a good reason before they grow up.
14 comments:
When you continue to take no responsibility for your actions and write in half-truths I doubt there is a chance in hell that you are ever going to be back at St. John's. I tried to be neutral at first but I have heard both sides of the story about why you are not allowed to attend St. John's. The church's side and the court records are much more believable than the drama you have written on this blog. I just wish the readers could get both sides and make an informed decision. No matter how much you try to explain it I do not understand why you want to be part of a parish that has so many things "wrong" with it and why you would want your children to receive sacraments there. This parish will never be orthodox enough for you. The parish in San Diego and the priest there must not know about your history here and your attempts to destroy CENSORED--you appointed yourself to this mission along with some other parishioners who felt wronged in some way. It is not healthy to insist on coming to Mass at a place that seems to make your wife constantly cry and your children afraid. I tried to understand both sides but the church's case makes more sense and I think the ruling is appropriate.
Thank you for posting Marie>
Since you are convinced that what I say is only "half-truths" I can only agree that I wish I could tell you more, so you could realize how you and the "I hate Kumpel" club have been duped--however there are those in that group who have chosen to be duped--I am powerless to change that.
Whatever the gossip machinery at SJE has told you to move you out of your alleged neutrality, I have to ask you: Have you ever talked to ME about this? Of course not. It would be wonderful if readers truly COULD get both sides and make an informed decision, but the plaintiff's attorney who wrote the restraining order (that's how it's done in Georgia--the judge doesn't write it) cleverly wrote the order to make sure that I am "hog-tied" from defending myself.
There are a number of people who have never spoken to me beyond a superficial "Hello" (if at all), yet are convinced that they know some sort of inside information that proves I am an unhinged danger to society. They say they won't talk to me because they don't need to hear my "lies". OK, fine. But you and I know darned well that they won't talk to me because they might just have to confront the fact that they've been duped. There's a word for people who cannot risk hearing what they don't like or facing themselves honestly: COWARDS.
You write about what the court record says, so I ask you, have you even SEEN a transcript of my hearing? I had to wait nearly two years to see a copy, only to be hauled into court for allegedly causing "unreasonable delays" in its release. Are you even aware that the plaintiff's attorney asked the judge to censor or 'redact' most of my testimony? Why? I have nothing to hide.
My friends and family in San Diego know much more about me, my situation and every good, bad and ugly fact about me than you could possibly fathom. The culture among the Catholics I ran with there was decidedly more open than the small-town "whisper behind his back" game I've watched play out here. I once read a review of a compilation of Flannery O'Connor's short stories that described the small-town south she lived in as a place where people "Know their place, mind their manners and do horrible things to each other." Yes, it certainly is.
I never tried to "destroy" anyone and if you accepted my open invitation to talk to me or come to my house and visit, you would soon realize what I mean and who I am.
I want to come back to SJE because I moved into this house to be close to a Catholic Church. No matter how good or bad any priest is, no matter how hateful or loving any parish is, those are all irrelevant to the one Perfection that the Catholic Church offers us: Jesus Christ and His Sacraments. Your approval and friendship would be nice to have, but they are not the reason I attend Mass and my commitment to the Church remains whether you or others love or hate me. I am not asking for admission to a club. I am asking for an unjust impediment to my family's sacramental life to be lifted. If grudge-holding is that important to you, then go ahead and look daggers at me every time you see me at Mass. I don't come to Mass for you--I come to be present at the Sacrifice that forgives our sins and receive His graces.
I'll tell you what: Surely the "I hate Kumpel" club has some emissary with enough backbone to call me, so I am extending another invitation: I'd like all of you to come to my house at the same time. I am dead-serious. You can all confront me and yell at me as much as you like. I'll grill all the burgers you can eat and serve you all the beer you can drink (that ought to help you overcome any inhibitions about letting me have it) and you can all get it off of your chests. My only requirement is that when you are done yelling, you show me the courtesy of allowing me to address your concerns.
Of course, I doubt I'll get the call. No one has yet had the guts to call me, much more even look me in the eye. I've already told you the word for that.
If I lived in Valdosta, I'd come! Good for you for trying to work this thing through with honesty, charity and courage.
Whatever you do, hang on to your faith in God and in the larger Catholic Church. "This too shall pass," as they say, and something good will come out of your suffering.
You may never get justice, but you will be blessed for your fidelity and patience in other ways, I am sure.
You gotta love the persistence of the gossip machinery in this little town of whisperers. My wife and I heard a NEW rumor just yesterday: I was supposedly in the military in San Diego "chasing down" military priests!
I wish I had the talent and imagination to think up these ridiculous stories!
Hello, Marie? No answer to Robert's offer?
Don't hold your breath Robert. Keep the faith.
Dear Marie,
We know who has read the court transcripts because they keep a record, and never saw your name on it. Also, did you get the story from the "lawyer" or WHO. Who is "the church's" side?? You certainly have not gotten Roberts side because our phone is still silent.
This is not the church against Robert, but two individuals against Robert. He was trying to have some CENSORED ended by the BIshop. These two individuals CENSORED, and they did not until the bitter end. The Bishop aided and abetted CENSORED. Robert was NOT the only person trying to get the Bishop to end this CENSORED for the last 10-12 years, he was just the most qualified person to encourage the bishop.
Robert is an investigative journalist for the Catholic church. He investigates BAD priests, Bishops, and church wrong doing. He is partly responsible for priests being arrested, defrocked, transferred, and kept away from children. He has published over 1500+ articles, many of which are just on exposing bad stuff within the church.
If you want to believe that a man like this is somehow a bad person and is against the church, I can only pray for you. He loves his church with everything that is within him, enough to put himself on the line to investigate and expose these issues and try to save our church. Robert is working so hard to protect the Catholic church and it breaks his heart to be denied the daily sacraments.
Robert has NEVER hurt a fly. He does the investigations and writes the stories, and sometimes notifies the authorities of what is coming with the hope that maybe they will fix things before they have to go public. He is willing to lose pay for a story if the "powers that be" will fix a problem and his story can get cancelled.
Marie, you do not really know either side of the story but you have strong opinions that are based on hatred and maybe loss. For that I am truly sorry.
Maybe you will see this for what it is, a good man with the journalistic background to help protect the reputation of our church, and his persecution by angry church goers, lawyers and church authorities who did not like it. This should end NOW. The "case" is over, and what are the odds that another investigation would be necessary at SJE?? You should support him for the work he is doing for you Marie. He is defending your church too.
Do not ban the messenger.
I'd like to come to the cook out!
I guarantee better tasting burgers. I never use propane--strictly charcoal.
For all those on the internet that think St. John's is a lost cause for Robert and Orthodoxy, please know that there is a strong but discreet movement within this Church. We call it our 5 to 10 year plan. I'm excited for the future, despite the sorrow I feel for the Kumpel family.
Sorry to the Kumpels,
a secret SJE supporter. Some of us really did know the truth.
Has the date been set for the burger-beer talk yet? Just curious how many people have called, it must be hard getting a date set up for 'all of these people"!
I volunteer to bring the pickles.
So, I guess TK has no answer to my questions/concerns?! Oh, it seems anyone who totally disagrees doesn't get posted.
Where's the discreet movement? Most parishioners just fulfill their Sunday obligation and get out right after communion!
Marie--
What specific "question" or "concern" would you like for her to address? Did she miss something in your original post, or have you attempted to post something since? I have not received any posts in my email to moderate from you since the one that begins the thread of comments here.
Please specify and if you tried to post something, evidently something went wrong and I encourage you to try again. I've thrown ONE comment out in the past week and it had nothing to do with this issue and it didn't come from anyone calling themselves Marie.
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