After reading some of the comments targeted at my wife, it is abundantly clear to me that some of us believe that the best way to serve our Catholic faith is by sharpening hatchets.
Such thinking was driven home to my entire family on All Saints Day last year, when we decided to visit the One In The Spirit
We arrived a bit late (four young daughters have a way of slowing everything down) and parked at the fairgrounds. It was a sunny day and we all were restless after two hours of driving with a seemingly endless number of stops. By all appearances, there was a bit of something for everyone. The most interesting part for us was the hall where vendors displayed and sold their Catholic goodies: Books, statues, tapes, CD’s, college pamphlets and other assorted trinkets. The people were friendly and everything seemed to be running smoothly.
We soon found out that the closing Mass was about to begin, so we gathered in the main building—a huge room resembling an airplane hangar. After the priests and bishops processed in, we found there was no place to sit, so we stood in the back. A couple of men I recognized from the Knights of Columbus wearing security vests kept glancing over at me then abruptly looking away. After about 20 minutes, one of them approached me.
“Scuze me. Don’t y’all have a restrainin’ order?”
(My first thought was, “No, I don’t usually carry one with me.”)
I replied, “Yes I do. But the person who I am to stay away from is not here.”
In the laconic tone of a southern Joe Friday, he said, “Sir, that person is here. You have to leave.”
Actually, I DIDN'T have to leave. My restraining order stipulates that I must simply stay 500 feet away. It never entered my mind that I would encounter any party with a restraining order against me there. I certainly never saw such persons (sorry—no names allowed) there.
My wife and I asked another person nearby—one of St. John’s deacons--to come into the lobby with us along with the security volunteer. We walked into a side conference room to talk.
The deacon—I won’t offer any further identification him, since he was nice to us (the kiss of death for any parish employee)—listened as we explained that we attended this event in good faith and that we had not seen anyone that I am prohibited from being around and that, further, I only had to stay 500 feet away from such persons (sorry—again, no names allowed).
The deacon was patient and apologized and explained that he was only doing what he was told to do. My wife asked if he could tell us where this person was seated so I could stay the maximum distance away. He told us he did not know. We then asked him who it was that had the usher to call us out. He said that he was not allowed to tell us.
Since I like this guy, I didn’t want to raise a big fuss. So, I said, “How about if I stay in the lobby and my family goes in. Would that be O.K.?” He said that would be no problem and even offered to see that I was brought Holy Communion by an extraordinary minister.
I sat, holding my one-year-old and began to think. I could just picture this incident being used against me as some sort of excuse to say that I had “violated my order by refusing to leave the premises.” After all I am “dangerous”.
I walked to the door of the main room and motioned for the deacon. He came to me and I told him I would wait for my family outside. I asked him “Now, you’re witnessing this, right? I’m leaving and you’re my witness that I’m leaving—right?” He nodded.
No sooner was I outside than my wife and other children came following. She’d had enough.
Some things are hard to explain to kids.
How do I explain to my children that we had to leave Mass on a Holy Day of Obligation?
How do I explain to my children that even in a room with 4,000 people, a few petty souls hate me enough to send me away?
How do I explain that the Catholic Church does not hate me (or them), but a select few people, none of whom have ever so much as talked with me, have decided that they speak for the Church and have banished me?
The hardest thing to explain to them was why their mother cried for two straight hours driving home.
The only thing I could tell them is that some people do what they do and we never understand why. Even so, we have to love our enemies. But even that didn’t ring true.
I had never declared any of these people as my “enemy”.
Some may read this and think it is a plea for pity.
It is.
I ask you to please take pity upon any person who calls himself a Catholic and treats their brothers and sisters this way.
These people need your prayers.
You can’t change them. I can’t change them.
God can.
14 comments:
This has been going on for a few years now. Is there any end in sight for you folks? FWIW, you're in my prayers.
You're in my prayers!
I wish there was way that I could help, i have a de facto restraining order at my old parish.
So I guess you have to read censored's mind before going to Mass.
Or going anywhere in the state.
Sir, you and your family (a domestic church) are in our prayers.
1656 In our own time, in a world often alien and even hostile to faith, believing families are of primary importance as centers of living, radiant faith. For this reason the Second Vatican Council, using an ancient expression, calls the family the
Ecclesia domestica.166
It is in the bosom of the family that parents are "by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation."167
1657 It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way "by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity."168 Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and "a school for human enrichment."169 Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous - even repeated - forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one's life.
Take solace in the Lord.
May the Holy Spirit be with you and your family.
Oh, I wish you could relocate; please do not have your children grow up with the hatred exhibited by those in the church! It will kill their faith because of the love they bear for you!
I have been disliked by those in the church, not to your extent, and even what I have experienced was and is so painful.
I've got an idea..... Why not ignore the Bishop? So many Catholics already do. Ignoring the Bishops hasn't hurt the politicians.
Dan, I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean ignore my letter refusing me permission to attend Mass at SJE, there are several "loving Catholics" who would be on their cell phones in 60 seconds to call the police and would have copies of the letter to show them when they arrived.
The people who ignore bishops and get away with it--pro-abort, pro-anything-goes politicians (the same one many of these "good Catholics voted for and donated to) get away with it because the bishops do not enforce anything with them. The only time they find the backbone to order anything or call law enforcement is when the "wrong kind" of Catholics (those who follow the Pope and Magisterium) cross them. Why? I think you already know.
Having been ordered to "avoid all ministries of this parish", with no reason given, be assured you and your familiy are in my prayers. At least for me, two deacons have stood by me, with one now transferred to my new parish making sure that I am welcome.
I am also aware of situations where a person already attending Mass was forced by a Court Order to leave if certain others arrived later.
What is happening in our Church?
OUR Church? You must be joking. They're just nice enough to let us sit in it if we don't make any waves.
Dan, the more I think about your comment, the more I realize that I need to clarify something: Many of us may have profound disagreements with some of our bishops and priests, but I encourage Catholics to obey the authority of the Church, even if the authority may be abusing you.
Given that anyone who has had any contact with me has testified that I have not done anything more dangerous than supposedly make them "feel intimidated", I think it is not a leap to believe that Bishop Boland's refusal to permit me to attend Mass at SJE is of a personal nature. However, he IS my bishop. I may not like what he says about me or the way he is treating me, but I will obey him. Unless your bishop is instructing you to violate your duties as a Catholic, I encourage all Catholics to obey their bishop, especially the Bishop of Rome, from whom your local ordinary gets his authority in the first place.
2010 is just around the corner Robert, then it's retirement age for our esteemed Bishop.
mr k hasn't done himself any favors. he can forget ever being a member of st johns again. the history of his escapades will be passed on and upheld. the appeals r over!
anon 2 - I don't think you've learned that attitude in Church. I've always felt that the message of the gospel was one of letting go of anger, resentment, bitterness, and ultimately overcoming the human tendency for a lack of forgiveness.
If I am right, these sins can destroy the soul. If I am wrong in letting go of the past, and supporting Robert as he tries to live life as a Catholic parent with children, who just wishes to return to the local parish, then the worst that will happen is that yet another sinner will be sitting in the pews.
Post a Comment