After living in Valdosta for almost five years, It still amazes me how information travels in small towns.
For instance, one night, about a year ago, I was walking up the aisle in a retail store and I heard a young woman working behind the counter talking to her co-worker. I don’t remember what she said word-for-word, but it went something like this:
”Yeah, he was, like, banging all over doors and windows at, like, three in the morning! So this guy had to be taken away by the cops screaming! Can you believe it? And all because of television sets!”
Wow! Even I can’t believe that—but, then again, I am the person she was talking about.
Now I shouldn’t complain. My restraining order insists that I have to be a good little patsy and not mention where I was, what I was investigating or who was involved. So I won’t.
However, I can and will affirm that it was not three o’clock in the morning, I was not banging and screaming all over someone’s windows (I knocked on a glass-plated screen door), I was not at the place any longer than four minutes, I never saw any police and no one was screaming. In fact, only one person was there and he never took out a restraining order against me. Restraining orders were taken against me by persons whose names I am not allowed to mention and who were not even present. And I KNEW they were not present. Finally, it had nothing to do with television sets.
Television sets?
I love a good story, but television sets had nothing to do with any of this.
Where did this fantastic fiction originate?
In the summer of 2006, I attended a Knights of Columbus meeting (more on them in a future post) and I was awakened from my struggle to stay awake by a bizarre proposal: We were asked to allocate $5,000 for the installation of permanent video monitors in St. John’s parish church on each side of the altar on the back wall of the sanctuary behind the altar, facing the congregation.
Video monitors? In a Catholic church? Where we offer Holy Mass?
I asked what they were for and was told point blank that they were needed to broadcast Bishop Boland’s annual appeal message video.
So we’re supposed to shell out thousands of dollars for the privilege of listening to MORE fundraising appeals?
The vote was delayed until another meeting. When the meeting took place, I had the dreaded responsibility (since no one else would) of speaking up against the idea. A rather heated debate followed, with several members agreeing with me and several more disagreeing. The pro-monitor group carried the vote and it appeared to be over with.
However, when something is just plain wrong, it’s never “over with”.
I came home and discussed the vote with my wife. We both wondered if the entire parish even knew about this plan. We had no parish directory. We decided that the best way to reach most parishioners was with flyers. So I printed up two hundred informational flyers about the project and placed them on cars at Mass the following week.
The flyers simply told readers what the plan was and offered the traditional teaching on what the Mass is.
Yes! I argued that video screens were inappropriate for Mass.
Yes! I urged readers to contact higher authorities to share their thoughts.
Yes! I told readers that if they disagreed they should toss the flyers.
No! I never attacked any person or persons on the flyer—only the idea of monitors.
No! I was not encouraging anyone to litter the parking lot.
I was amazed to find out the following week, that, indeed, most of the parish had no clue that any such plans were in place. The parish council and finance council knew and the Knights of Columbus, but that was it.
Now, to be clear, while I thought (and still think) the idea was horrid, that was not the main point of my flyer. The point was that the parishioners were the ones paying for their church and they deserved to know what was being done with their money. If the parish was O.K. with it, I would not stand in the way. I just thought everyone should at least know before having the plan sprung on them.
I soon found out that’s a “dangerous” idea in the Diocese of Savannah.
The following week at Mass, mention was made of my flyers, only to say that they were filled with untruths. I still defy anyone to show me one thing in my flyers that were untrue.
I also found that some people were angry that I had put those flyers on their sacred cars.
Before I lived here, my pro-life colleagues and I frequently put flyers on cars in church parking lots at election time with pro-life voter guides on them. We were always instructed that if a parish official asked us to leave the parking lot, that we should just leave. That was my game plan here. No one ever approached me.
However, not wishing to offend anyone who didn’t want a flyer, I decided that the following week, I would hand out my flyers outside the parking lot. I stood outside the lot entrance and offered them to cars going in to Mass or leaving from Mass. Most people were pleasant and took a flyer. A few politely refused and one or two were cranky and dismissive making remarks like, “I don’t believe in that!” (A good point--I don’t believe in flyers either--I believe in God).
I also wrote Bishop Boland and explained to him why I thought it was a bad idea. He was kind enough to write me back and inform me that St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York used video monitors extensively. I had also been told that they are used in St. Peter’s square. However, after discussing the issue with a priest friend who is a liturgical consultant for parishes building new churches, I was reminded that such screens are used for huge crowds at capacity Masses (in Churches that are stupendously huge) so that they can see the liturgical action on the altar—not for fundraising pitches.
Bishop Boland also wrote that he wished I would stop handing out flyers.
(That was the last time Bishop Boland ever communicated with me).
I wrote back to tell him I would stop. And I did.
Of course, this was used as "evidence" at my restraining order hearing that I am "dangerous".
I already had 300 new flyers printed up that never saw the light of day. I tossed them.
(CLARIFICATION: I tossed them in the trash—I’m not encouraging anyone to litter!)
When I moved here, I thought that I was still in the United States, where our constitutional rights were in place. I had not yet learned about the "special" right claimed by some people that they must never be annoyed or read or hear anything they do not like. Now I know that there is a special right for the "elect" in my parish never to hear anything they disagree with.
And, to be fair, I can understand why Bishop Boland wanted me to stop. After all, everyone knows that Vatican II’s call for increased lay participation in the Church really means “participation in carefully contrived and scripted events”.
How dare any of us ask questions?
Especially me—after all, I’m “dangerous”.
THE BOOTLEG FLYER
In November of 2006, right before Thanksgiving, I received a phone call late one afternoon. An older sounding fellow shouted something at me about flyers in a rather angry tone, then hung up (is that a drive-by phone call?). I was curious about the call, but I couldn’t make any sense of it. I began calling some of my contacts in the Knights of Columbus and soon found out that a flyer had been mailed to some people in the parish. (After asking around, I soon realized that only some people received the flyers, mostly Knights of Columbus. A lot of people I asked about them never got one). Intrigued that someone else in the parish decided to take the flyer approach, I was anxious to see what it looked like. A member of the Knights of Columbus, who was running a bingo game that night, told me that he had one, so I went to the Knights of Columbus hall where he showed me his flyer and ran off a copy for me. (I've edited his name out because people will either hate him for talking to me or he'll be angry that I mentioned him).
The flyer was shocking, to say the least. It was a parody promoting a Super-Bowl party to be held in St. John’s church, using the proposed video monitors to watch the game. While I must admit it was clever, it was also a bit sacrilegious, with some rather irreverent jokes about serving Holy Communion as a halftime snack and confessions to be heard during commercial breaks. IT WAS NOTHING LIKE MY FLYERS IN ITS LAYOUT, LOOK OR CONTENT. Nonetheless, I soon feared that since people had seen me handing out flyers that they would assume I had produced and mailed this one.
I got my Knight of Columbus officers phone list and called (or attempted to call) every officer in the Knights of Columbus. I wanted to let them know that I had nothing to do with this flyer. Most of the guys I talked to about it were pretty nice, although I found out later that some of them were “acting” with me and believed I was the culprit.
I have two theories about the flyer:
1) It was a hot-headed attempt by someone to keep the debate going after I stopped distributing flyers.
2) Someone who was angry at me produced this flyer and mailed them to a few select parishioners to make me look bad, knowing that everyone would assume it was from me. Only someone who had contact with the bishop would have known that I had decided to stop distributing flyers, since I had told Bishop Boland of my intent in a private letter (I can't remember if it was either a letter or an email).
If you’re out there, phantom flyer printer—I invite you to post. If my first theory is correct, don’t identify yourself, because you will be treated as warmly as I have been. If my second theory is correct, I’ll never hear from you.
(click on any image to enlarge)
(It took me two years to realize I misspelled "intrusions")
The flyer I threw in the trash
18 comments:
Poor naive Robert. Don't you know that the Shepherds (and the wolves) want the people to be sheep.
Really classy flyers! I am impressed. They're just a bit cheeky without being "over the top."
They may try to shut you up and bury you---but the Savannah Diocese isn't ever going to forget what you did.
My personal opinion is that the libs just don't know how to handle this generation of 40-something conservatives.
They've got us stereotyped to be the old reactionary, rough and tough, right-wing hardliners and they can't figure out how to deal with you kind of clever, moderate rhetoric.
I guess they'll have to have a whole bunch of workshops now training everyone how to deal with conservative/traditional, technically savvy Catholics like yourself.
I'm so encouraged to see someone fighting the decadence and corruption with courage, charity and intelligence. Don't ever give in!
I'm convinced that it's in the process of active resistance that we will keep the Faith. If you give up or walk away in disgust, THAT'S when your faith is in danger.
Thank you Julie, but I have to tell you I'm a bit uncomfortable posting ALL of your stuff, specifically the whole self-congratulatory "aren't we clever" observations--although I know you mean to be supportive. Flattery makes me VERY uncomfortable.
The flyers really weren't about being "clever" or "classy" (not that I don't appreciate a compliment) but the point of the flyers was simply that those educated in the Church before Catholic education stopped know darned well this kind of thing is inimical to Catholic worship. I look at so many Catholics who are so much older than me who should know better and they seem like the proverbial frogs who were put in a pot of cold water and are staying in as it reaches the boiling point.
It's really our own fault. We've watched this kind of liturgical horse-manure creep into Mass for years and too many of us just stood by and did nothing. Of course, how could we possibly be prepared to do ANYTHING when the Catholic leadership (and I mean everywhere) that we were supposed to trust was tickling our ears while plotting the devastation of the vineyard?
I apologize for my runaway metaphors, but the bottom line is that more Catholics have to step up to the plate and take a stand or the Church we leave our children won't be anything but a shell of its former self. We're nearly there.
Robert, if you'd like to delete my post, by all means do so. No offense will be taken at all.
I guess I got carried away, but I was really encouraged to see someone resisting the liberal tyrants and thought your flyers were characteristic of other young conservatives I've heard of who have endured alot of liturgical and administrative abuse and are beginning to stand up and fight back in a polite and intelligent way.
Julie:
I apologize if I overreacted. I put your post up because what you write about the changing landscape of the Church is important.
Pope John Paul II apologized all over himself (probably a bit too much) for the sins of people in the Catholic Church, but he also reiterated that the Church Herself can not err. I don't think most Catholics get that. If we dare to question a priest or bishop or nun or any "official" with training from "Catholic" Universities (like Notre Dame) the power of the institutional Church (and its power to influence its members) is often turned against those who ask questions as being somehow "disloyal" or "unfaithful". It's just not so. I love my Church with everything I've got, and I love Her so much that it sickens me to see how She has been used by those who wear the mantle of Her authority to deconstruct Her glorious legacy and traditions.
The Church doesn't "belong" to any one person except Jesus Christ. It belongs to the people of God. Once again, I will quote the Angelic Doctor, Thomas Aquinas:
"There being an imminent danger for the faith, prelates must be questioned, even publicly, by their subjects."
The Kumpels are friends of mine. I’ve known them for—what?—at least two years, I think, maybe three. Let me put it this way: I’ve been a member of St John’s, attending Mass every weekend and many weekdays since 1988, when I’m home. In the beginning, I tried—so hard!—to become involved in parish life, but I was met with a stone wall. I have no family—no husband (either living or dead), no children, and I’m not any “known” man’s daughter. Here, one is defined by one’s family. I’m a native southerner, so I understand this reasoning, even if I recognize it to be utterly non-Christian. Here, if you are no one’s daughter, no one’s wife, no one’s mother, you are No One. Period. I’m very friendly—quite nice, actually— presentable, decent (whatever that means), and I am completely superfluous.
St John’s is where I go to Mass when I am home. That’s it. That’s not how I chose things to be. It’s what was chosen for me by this church, and yes, I made earnest attempts—many times, not just in the beginning—for things to be otherwise. And I’ve met so many, many people who’ve said, “I volunteered and no one even called me.” Right. No one does. There’s a little clique, and they do literally everything. (What’s amusing is to hear some deacon or priest lament the lack of volunteerism. Very funny, really.) They have such contempt for their parishioners, whom they so despise that they do not even return phone calls of people who so want to help. Oh, well. Sometimes, I admit, I was motivated by selfishness. Sometimes, I simply wanted—so much!—a feeling of belonging. This is especially important to people with no family. But at other times, I devoutly wanted the one Catholic church here in this Protestant universe, to be happily Catholic.
Now here’s a small point: In all these years, 1988 till 2009, everyone who has ever known me knows that I have no family, and in all these years, *one* (count them—one) family invited me to Thanksgiving dinner: the Kumpels. The phone call: “Hey! We were just thinking—do you have any place to spend Thanksgiving? Come on over!” Twenty years. Yes, that’s the first time, and except for them, that’s the only time.
Okay, now a larger point (“larger” for some people): I live in a lower middle-class house when I’m home. Money does not impress me. I have a very simple lifestyle, though it is true that I travel a great deal. I’ll put it simply: I could have paid off St John’s mortgage and never felt it—not even a little. Am I uncharitable? I don’t think so. Approximately 30,000 each month., sometimes more, sometimes less, goes to mostly (but not always) Catholic charities, which, I must say, never includes St John’s. In fact, St John’s receives not a cent. Why I live here (most of the time, or some of the time—it doesn’t matter—is simply a private concern.) I go to St John’s for Mass because it’s the only Catholic church in this town. No matter where I am in the world, I never miss Mass, and no matter where I am in the world, that church always receives an anonymous contribution of at least four figures—except St John’s, who never receives a penny. Why? What’s been done to Robert is not a “part” of the reason; it’s an example of THE reason.
Thanks anonymous. That was just Southern California hospitality. I still can't get used to the whole "lockdown" style of celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas here.
Now that I know who you are, how about paying off MY mortgage?
Good grief.
Whenever I witness an illicit abuse during Mass, hear a bad hymn, admire the lack of ecclesiastical art and architecture in the church, I just read your blog and feel better.
...or was it worse?
:(
:)
Your situation makes your Archbishop Sheen quote kind of ironic.
Hold the line Mr. Kumpel, the Diocesis Savanensis needs all the orthodox militants it can get.
"We belong to the Church militant; and She is militant because on earth the powers of darkness are ever restless to encompass Her destruction." -Pius XII
That is one thing I'll give to people from the West; they're very hospitable. During my first ten years in SC, with my parents, we regularly ahd "eclectic" thanksgiving dinners because we didn't have our extended family.
As for the whole KofC thing, weren't you in violation of your oath for talking to your wife about what happened at a meeting? My dad took that oath very seriously, and my mom didn't like it all. That and the Fourth Degree initiation were why he decided to quit the KofC.
And he won't even speak about what happened at the 4th Degree Initiation: it horribly traumatized him. It was a family friend who left the KofC for similar reasons who told me in detail about what they do, because he didn't care. And when I raised the issue with my father in law, who is a semi-active Knight (he does the tootsie roll drive and cooks for their parish dinners), he said, "That's why I never went fourth degree."
Lastly, if knocking on the door of a CENSORED late at night is a crime, boy! What good are they? At one point in my teen years in SC, when I was completely despairing over the shenanigans at my Catholic parish and school, and about my health, my mom went to the CENSORED's door late in the evening. He wasn't there, so she figured he must be at the conv--CENSORED--so she went *there* and pounded on the door. When one of the nuns answered the door, my mom said, "Where's CENSORED" and the CENSORED said, "We're having dinner." Mom marched through the CENSORED and went up to the CENSORED and said, "My son needs you. Now." And left.
(This is why I was totally shocked she took the side of *your* CENSORED, except that she's pretty burnt out with the Church as a whole).
He came to the house and counseled me, somewhat.
Hate to think what'd have happened if that had been your CENSORED.
Footnote: the CENSORED in question died of an aortic aneurysm a few months after the incident, and, a few months after he died, I had a vision of him standing by my bed.
John,
Uh, thanks for doing my censoring for me.
Regarding the Knights of Columbus--it was my understanding that we were not to reveal the "secret" stuff of the initiation. I don't think meeting agenda items fit the bill. Besides they kicked me out after my hearing for "causing scandal". I might add that they violated their own constitution by refusing to even give me a hearing. I would also add that my sacramental marriage vows and commitment to not keeping secrets from my wife supersedes my membership in some men's club.
To be blunt, I was never too comfortable with that Knights of Columbus stuff. My wife begged me to join because she thought I would make some Catholic male friends that way. The meetings just weren't my thing and I struggled not to fall asleep. I was also bothered that it just seemed like a Catholic version of a secret society, which Catholics are forbidden to join in the first place. They do a lot of good, but sitting for an hour of fundraising news isn't my idea of an exciting evening.
oops. typo. 3,000, not 30,000. sorry, robert.
K of C. I don't know if they do good; they certainly do well. The supreme honcho makes an annual salary of 1.6 million per annum. That's charity????
Ok--just a paltry $3,000. Howsa bout making just a random mortgage payment for me now and then? We'll figure out a way to make it tax deductible.
I agree with Julie,
It's such a relief to see people fighting the establishment of lost catholic Leaders, especially with computers, blogs, flyers, and creativity. Robert, God gave you the talent to pursue this matter and help bring orthodoxy back to the church, Kudos to you for using it. Do not give up. Keep making them realize that they may have the pulpit, but "we the people" have other means to get the message out and fight to save our religion from complete protestantization. I think I just made up that word?
God Bless You and never be embarrassed to have skills. "Time, talent, and treasure." The stewardship slogan applies to you also, keep on with your talent.
The "bit sacrilegious" flyer was intended to underscore that the plan to install video screens was sacrilegious. The distribution of the flyer had nothing to do with you Robert, and I was in fact surprised when I heard someone attribute them to you. You simply had, unbeknownst to all, (or to either of you) an ally in the fight against the installation.
After posting this a week ago, I finally get some info--ARE YOU the mystery flyer man anonymous?
Dear author of the "bootleg" flyer,
I laughed so hard, that I cried. It did a great job of showing the ridiculous nature of the TV monitors behind the altar.
I was quite against the TV's and did write to the Fr. of the church and the Bishop to voice my concerns. I got no reply from either.
I recommended that the TV's would be a wonderful addition to the parish hall! They would be great there for retreats, kids nights, marriage videos, teaching for the school kids, the Bishops appeal, etc. (We walk to the hall for other processions, why not for the appeal video.)
Congratulations on the "other" flyer, it was appreciated by me as a means to explain the sacrilege....... Thank You.
The author of the flyer intended to encourage the recipients to question their pastor and rethink their support of the monitors. Period. It was in NO way intended to be disrespectful to our Lord or the sacraments He instituted.
The author was not Robert Kumpel.
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